Shrimp Fest Pics!

The red Velvet Cupcakes
The ladies at the drink stations!

Jon on the BBQ - look on the top rack...bacon wrapped shrimp!

Dave at the BBQ - Bacon wrapped Tuna!

Jon showing off his sushi skills!

Donna & Wyatt

Jon & Dave!

Shrimp Fest 2010!

Shrimp fest 2010 was a great success and filled with wonderful shrimp inspired foods! Though we may not have had the music pump’n or the lights all a flicker’n the food was amazing, and the crowd was beautifully filled with friends and family. Of course we had the traditional shrimp platter from Costco, a shrimp Caesar salad, shrimp enchiladas, and shrimp Alfredo as the main dishes. For the appetizers we went with some wonderful grilled and fried foods, such as bacon wrapped jump shrimp and coconut fried shrimp. Dave Olsen brought bacon wrapped tuna marinated in BBQ sauce, and later in the evening Jon made wonderful shrimp AND crab sushi! For dessert I made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, except some had chocolate once I ran out of the other, and our wonderful Jan and Iola brought cakes as well. Of course I had the margaritas out and made iced water in my awesome glass jug.

Those who could make it had their fill of shrimp these evening, and though we may have cooked pounds of shrimp in numerous ways, we have yet to had enough and will continue to cook shrimp for everyone as long as we can. I think Shrimp Gumbo is on the order for next year – Bubba would be proud!

A family Focused Perspective!

Am I a mom who has it together? I’m not sure I can protest that just yet, but I sure feel like I’m on my way there instead of the road I was on – lazy, depressed, and overwhelmed with what to do next. I feel calmer about my mommyness and feel like I can accomplish most tasks on my own at home while my husband works to support our family. I was reading a forum post on Circle of Moms.com that asked about advice from those moms who have it together. I would have asked the same question a year ago, and here I am with some great insight into my momness now. Here is what I wrote.

“First of all, how old is your kido? That has everything to do with it. No mom has it all together the 1st 3-4 months of their first child! Secondly, it's all about routine and lowering your expectations. If you don't get the chores done in order to get a shower in, then you still rock! Children thrive on routines, because they love to know what is coming next and what to expect from their day. Even as a baby/toddler I tell my daughter what we are doing each day and why. This increases her speech development, cognitive development, as well as any anxieties she may have about what is coming up.

Lastly, it's all in the partner! My husband is fabulous about picking up the slack for me when I go to the gym or need time to decompress from a stressful day. He does a lot of one on one time with our daughter and she also thrives from these spontaneous moments with daddy!”

I would not be the on track mom that I am right now without my husband or my friends. I truly believe it takes a village to raise children, and know that if I don’t have it together one day I have people to call on to help me make it through the day. I try to remember that if the to-do list I write for one day last me for the whole week that the world is not going to end and that eventually it will all get done. Focus on your family first and then your expectations with expand to other areas of your life.

The other side of friendship

Sometimes friendships are easy going, and sometimes they aren't. I debated posting this journal I wrote because I don't want any hurt feelings. Then I thought most of the people I talk about don't even read my blog, but then I thought I write on this blog for me and that it's very therapeutic to be able to get my feelings out and share them. So, no hard feelings, just true and complex feelings. I will always love my friends, even during the punch-outs.
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I feel the need to write about some things going on in my network of friendships, but I also am unsure of how to phrase things in a way that is clear. I have a pretty large group of friends who are all enmeshed into each other’s lives. Most of them all grew up together here in town, and have a pretty deep connection of friendship. I, on the other hand, am the outsider. Now, I have a very close relationship with the ladies, but not so much with the guys of our group. This is understandable of course and normal; my husband is close to the guys and I’m close to the girls, but for many reasons apparently I am not close at all to one person in particular.

I feel as though I am the punching bag for this person, the go to person that will take any insult or bad attitude thrown at them. I am not important, and there for I am the one who gets spit on when the mood strikes. I can’t say that this person hasn’t been a good friend to me. But, I’ve always felt that the only reason for that was due to my relationships with those around us and of course my marriage. I know for sure I would never have been a part of this person’s life otherwise.

This round of punching is still fresh on my mind. Maybe not on anyone else’s mind, but the wound is still healing for me. I don’t think anyone really saw this round as significant, but I did. I saw the reactions of others as part of it all. How most people just brushed it off as another interaction between us, nothing significant, and nothing to be concerned about. It made me cry, it made me cry more then once, and that’s pretty significant to me. The words weren’t significant, and really not the action, but the fall out, the memories, and the lack of empathy is what made me cry. Just writing this is making me tear up, and that sucks! The knowledge that I will always be the outsider who causes conflict was really part of the emotion for me. My reaction is to defend myself, but with some thought into it I’ve decided I need to just back away for awhile. Step out of the situation, and stop interacting for awhile. No more spontaneous get-togethers for now, more planning, less interactions. Leave the situation alone; let the hurt feelings and emotions dry up; and allow time to bring our group back in agreement.

I have a difficult time with people who always see the negative side of life. Mostly because I know how hard it can be to live like that. Trust me; depression takes you deep into the negative side of life. But, I’ve always been able to look past the dark whole and see that life is better then I think. I am not depressed today, and have not been for quite a long time now. I know I am happy and that the state of my life right now is good and joyful. It won’t always be that way for me, but I will always try to see the good around the bad. For example, I remember going through my depression after Julia was born and being able to realize that life would be so much worse off if I hadn’t had her in my life.

Those people who see that dark side of life all the time really get to me, because as a person on the outside, I’m always able to look at their lives and see the bright side and the roads to it. I suppose at my age I am considered a full-fledged adult, maybe even middle-aged (NO!), and would hope that my priorities in life are pretty set up and figured out. I know for myself that most of that is true, and I will always have more to add to or others to change, but for the most part I feel like my life and my family’s life priorities are straight. But, when you’re looking at all the negative stuff in your life how are you working on those priorities? I get so sick of complaints about this or that, and how bad life is when all around you are people who love you and are there for you.

It can be hard to be the outsider in a group like my friends. As an outsider I don’t have the “family” connection with everyone. I have to earn respect and understand how to read these people a lot better then some of the others do. I suppose I also have to be nicer, more forgiving, and easy-going too. That can all be pretty difficult with such intertwined dynamics that is such our group. I hope that some day not everyone will see the conflicts I have and say, “Yeah, he really doesn’t like you.”

Spur of the Moment - Summer Memory

My cell phone rings, and it’s my best friend Robin. “Hi, how are you?” she says. I can tell in her voice that’s she’s having a bad day. “I’m fine, what’s up?” “Whatcha doing for dinner?” She asks. I tell her something on the meal plan I’m following, and she proceeds to ask if her, her husband, her oldest daughter, and our two other friends; Andy and Laura could come over for a BBQ. I smile, even though I know she can’t see me. Of course she can come over for dinner! But I tell her, “Let me ask Jon what he thinks and I’ll text you back.”

My husband, the yes man, of course says yes, we both LOVE having our friends over and it’s all the better when it’s not planned out and we all just end up together for the evening. So, last night was one of those nights. At first I somehow felt overwhelmed with anxiety when everyone bombarded the house, but then I just relaxed and realized they don’t care (like it’s always been) if my house was messy or if I wasn’t ready for dinner yet. We’re such a family. Everyone brought over supplies for dinner, the appetites, and their smiles. We ate hamburgers, chips, beer, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, Coke, and Salmon and asparagus. We had the music turned on, Julia was running from outside to inside to see everyone, Laura’s pregnant belly was out for all to touch, Robin was drinking her “special” beer, and the guys were BBQ and talking about random video games and etc.

We started a fire in the fire pit, pulled all the chairs around it, and drank out sorrows, bad days, aches and pains, and became the relaxed group of friends again. No one was nagging, no one was arguing, and no one was storming off with bad feelings. The fire was brewing, the girls became wrapped in blankets, and the guys poked at the fire. Eventually the guys went inside to play a game of Munchkin (I most certainly need to tell all about this game) and the girls stayed by the fire. Jon and I had put Julia down for bed already (someone who was exhausted just by the 2 and half hours of party time she got in) and were now free to enjoy the evening. We took pictures as a group for once, missing Laura who had to work in the morning and went to bed early and another couple of our friends - Paul & Jessica, and for once no one had food in their mouths or was making some stupid face from the spur-of-the-moment captures of the party I would take. This is my family, my tribe, and my friends. I love it when we get together spur of the moment.

Love my friends!

I absolutely love being with my friends and their kids. We are like this huge family of kids and parents, and Sunday at the zoo was no different. Sitting at a huge table passing out food to everyone, feeding Julia all the food she can eat, holding Dana & Tyson’s new baby girl, and just watching as the rain pours down and then the sun comes out was such a sign of how happy I am with these people in my life. We had a lot of problems watching all the kids and making sure they weren’t running off without telling us, but even with all the franticness of it all I had the best time being with all of them. It was Emma’s 5th Birthday and we all surprised her showing up at the zoo to have lunch and walk the park with her. It was cold and wet, but once the rain stopped after we ate it didn’t hit again until we all were in the cars heading home. We saw Lions, naked mole rats, Giraffes, Ducks, tigers, cheetahs, Elephants, birds, and more. Showing up after church meant we weren’t going to walk the whole park, and that was ok with our family because we had just been there, but I could tell the other kids wanted more. Jon and I decided we have to buy a yearly pass now with how much fun Julia has here. It’s so worth it. I’m probably going to take her on my birthday too since its $2 Tuesday.

After having the yard sale on Saturday and falling down the stairs and sitting in the cold most of the day I am extremely tired at the zoo; and even after the zoo I was barely coherent, but I made it through and had such a great time. Julia had such a great weekend. Saturday was spent with cousins Iris & Paige at Grandma Roxanne’s playing tea party and wearing tutus and the Sunday was the Zoo. She does have a small cold, that because she can’t blow her nose yet has given her some wheezy coughs, but I’m not too worried. Enough time spent sleeping with the humidifier and she will be okay. Such a blessed life we have.

The Zoo and Stuff!

Some great pictures of the past month and half!

playing with Morgan in the window seat!

Friday May 22

Making cookies with Ashleigh

Thursday May 21
Pig-tails - Wednesday May 20

First attempt with Pig-tails - May 20

She's loving her Mr. Potatoe Head toys - likes to make Julia head faces too.

Placed her chair on Daddy's lap and sat on it. New way of sitting in Daddy's lap now.

Mother's Day!

PLaying at Grandma Roxanne's House on Mother's Day 2010

So, for those of you who enjoy the pictures of my darling daughter here are some recent ones. We went to the Zoo this weekend for Emma's 5th birthday!

Mariah, Sara, and Ashleigh

Christina & Emma

Doogie & Emma eating lunch

Band your drum Julia!!

Anthony & Gage banging the drums

Laura showing Julia the Giraffs

Jason & Jon with Julia waiting for everyone to catch up